Tasers, and Soldiers, and Captains, oh my!
by DriannaHarper
Summary: She was used to Pop-tarts, not Mario cart. And not Rainbow Bridge finals with Captain America and Hawkeye. (Part 4 of the Couch Series, but the first written)


"Oh, for FUCKS sake," Darcy yells as she opens the door. "STEVE! Your asshole best friend is here. AGAIN."

She leaves the door open so Barnes can let himself in as she stomps into the living room. Throwing herself down on the couch, she huffs out a breath and glares at her roommate.

"You know, I didn't realize that when I moved in with you, it was a two for one special. Is there a chance of going a DAY without him raiding our fridge or hogging my couch?"

Her unrepentant roommate shrugs, and continues making his sandwich. "Bucky and I are a package deal, doll. You knew THAT, at least."

She grabs up her tablet and shuffles to the end of the couch. "You could have warned me about Sargent 'No personal space'.

By then, Bucky has made his way to the kitchen to wrestle half of Steve's sandwich from him. It turns into an all-out brawl. Darcy may or may not have been scoping it.

She also might have made phone calls, and started a betting pool. When the five minute mark hits, she's stolen Steve's half of the food and started debating putting up the footage on YouTube.

After ten minutes, she was contemplating the left over pizza from two days ago longingly, and then she heard… disco.

"You're down, punk. Stay down."

She gets down on the floor with her StarkPad to video Steve being owned. "So, Cap, how does it feel to have a Sargent on you? I'd compare it if I could, but, you know, gotta keep it PC for the internet!"

Steve grumbles something into the carpet, and Darcy leans in for a better explanation.

"Fuck. You. Guys. I Hate… you… both."

"Barnes, let him up for a sec. I have a response to his response. Let's go."

As soon as Steve can lean up enough to speak, she beats him to it, "Watch it Cap, the viewers at home are seeing this. Can't let innocent- Oh crap. No time for quips, guys, we have incoming."

They're all on their feet more quickly than usual- at least she is, but judging by the hands at her elbows she's sure she had help.

"Suit up, guys, Jay says we have a problem."

They all have their ear pieces in, and Darcy is talking a mile a minute to Jarvis as soon as he alerts her.

The two Avengers are out of the building before she even gets the gist of what's going on. She has her frowny face turned up to eleven even before Jarvis has the full scoop for her. What's the point of living with a superhero if you're too busy being a techie to enjoy their spandex clad asses?

There are Doom bots less than a mile away. While this normally would be a problem for the Fantastic Douches, they happen to be in Latveria doing a consult. With Doom. Freaking figures.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes, Miss Lewis?"

"How is this my life?"

"I blame Mister Stark for all things relevant to life choices."

"Awesome, let's roll with that."

"Indeed."

"JARVIS? Let me know how things are going?"

"As much as I am able, Miss Lewis."

Half an hour later, Darcy is hiding behind some bushes next to a brownstone, contemplating her life.

' _Seriously? They're in enemy territory and asking the Avengers to step in? They better have a damned good reason to interrupt my studly wrestling match.'_

The whimper and sniffling she hears manage to focus her. She is not an Avenger. She is a Science! add on with a taser. Who happens to have an elderly neighbor and her grandchildren to keep safe. This was not the plan. The plan was for her to stay inside and coordinate with Jarvis while the heroes did their thing. What they didn't anticipate was Winnie 'sitting her daughter's kids, and them getting back to the street when Bad Things Happened. There is a Bot stalking them, and while Jarvis assures her that help is on the way, Darcy isn't going to take risks with kids.

Her security card swipe gets them into the stair well, but not the elevators. This is fine with her. She usurers them in, sits them all down, and makes promises that she hopes the guys can keep. The kids believe. She's that convincing. Winnie doesn't, but she knows not to say anything that'll scare the children.

Darcy leaves her taser with Winnie. She also makes her promise to shoot anyone that comes in, if it isn't her. She hears the lock click behind her, and takes a deep breath. She can smell smoke, and chemicals in the air.

Ducking down behind the bushes again, she finds a guy she tasered earlier that is showing signs of getting up. She has no problem with kicking him in the head, since he seemed to have no problems with trying to SHOOT a 5 year old. She finds a gun, some interesting keys, and an SD card when she frisks him.

The Doom bot that's tagging them finally appears in her line of sight, but before she can even start to raise her arm, the bot's thrown against a wall by the Hulk. He looks down on her with a scowl.

"Oh, come on, man. I KNOW you can do better than that. Freaking SMASH, dude!" she shouts up at him.

The Hulk grins at her, takes the Bot in both hands, and throws it into the air, before taking after it.

"There you go, yo. Smash that like a boss."

Looking around, most of the Doom Bots are gone, but there's still a lot of shifty going on. Scenes like this often cause looting, and while Darcy wasn't going to get into the psychology of that, she also won't leave her neighbors alone.

She feels, more than hears, someone behind her, and spins around. She knows the gun she has in hand isn't something she's going to use well, but it's all she has. She comes face to face with the Winter Soldier, and drops the gun. She's thrown herself across the distance in a moment, and is sobbing into his uniform.

"Oh God, James, I was so scared. I know, I mean I KNOW you're in scary places, but I'm usually not, and holy fuckballs that was scary. And I still have to go help Winnie, you know, from 3H? She has her grandkids with her, and we almost got SQUISHED-"

"Are you injured?"

The question shoves her back into the moment. He isn't hugging her back. He didn't ask, "You got an ouchie, darlin?" Looking up into his face, Darcy realizes that this isn't Bucky. This isn't Sargent Barnes that she battles at Mario Kart with and argues with over which pizza topping is the best. This is the Soldier.

Still aware of the tears on her face, she squares her shoulders and looks him right in the eye. "I'm five by five, soldier, but there are civilians out there. I'll take care of mine. You take care of yours."

He nods, and starts to turn.

She grabs his hand before he can take a step.

"Remember to come home, after. Okay? Steve and I? We need you to come home. Don't get lost again. Come home. "

He doesn't respond, but there's a careful squeeze on her fingers from his arm.

The cleanup isn't easy, and it isn't quick. Darcy manages to get back to the door to the stairs without anyone following. She ends up carrying a five year old up three flights of stairs, while holding hands with the girl's seven year old brother, and following their almost 70 year old grandmother.

She gets promises of homemade cookies in return. She counts that as a win.

It's dawn the following day before she makes it back to her apartment. Both of her roommates are still missing. She stays awake pacing, going over specs with Jarvis, and gnawing on pizza crust to keep from passing out.

Steve shows up two days later. He's battered, not fried, but Darcy puts him to bed anyway. After the first round of nightmares, she crawls in with him. They both wake up at odd hours, but aren't willing to leave. After the third day, they both agree that showers are their friends, go to clean up separately, and end up bundled up on the couch.

Barnes hasn't shown up. It's the longest he's been gone since they moved in together. They both worry, and try not to show it. They both fail.

Darcy retells her interaction with the Winter Soldier. It isn't until the third go of it that she realizes that the hand she grabbed, the one that reassured her, was his bionic one. It makes them both feel better, and worse.

She realizes that watching Captain America sulk is literally a national tragedy. Darcy is pretty sure she could trademark the frowny face he made.

It takes two weeks for Bucky to come back. There's the knock on the door, the usual, "STEVE! Your asshole best friend is here. AGAIN."

But it isn't the same. Barnes is quiet, and doesn't interact the same way. He doesn't talk as often, and he doesn't interact with either of them the way he did before.

Not until Steve throws a piece of chicken at his head.

Darcy has been trying to tempt him into a game of Mario Kart, and finally, as she is about to smack him, he is blindsided by poultry.

She watches the focus change in his eyes, and states, "Bitch, it's on like Donkey Kong."

Bucky looks at her like he's never seen a creature quite like her. Slowly, a smirk creeps over his face. "You have NO idea what you just got yourself into, doll."

Leaning closer to him, Darcy mutters, "Your best game? Bring it."

It takes two weeks, and three Avengers game nights for her to realize what's happening. Tony always loses at racing games, and throws EPIC tantrums about it, and Clint sulks about how badly he does in Wii sports. Nat wins by default, mostly because she cheats, and Thor is happy enough to play along regardless. Bruce spends most of his time playing Tetris with Jane, because-Science!, and Steve is used to being pawned by Bucky and Sam at pretty much anything.

Darcy ends up squashed into the arm of the couch, mostly because she's talking to Pepper, or trying to finagle the Avengers schedules on a StarkPad. She doesn't notice that Barnes ends up smooshed next to her more times than not, until she does.

She's trying to ignore everyone else one night, when she realizes that not only is she stuck at the end of the couch, but Bucky has his head on her shoulder, and she's been running her left hand through his hair for a while.

There's only a slight pause before she continues. He tenses for a moment, then relaxes back into the lazy cat sprawl he'd had going on. She keeps going on her tablet, but lets the interior monologue run. How long had Barnes been cuddling up to her, and how hadn't she noticed? And what was she going to do about it?

An hour, a subtle conversation via StarkPad with Jarvis, and clearing out most of the team had an answer for her.

Steve and Sam were doing the dishes, and talking smack about the others (Like Steve didn't have a giant crush he wouldn't talk about- WHATEVER), and Clint was trying to beat Rainbow Bridge. The rest of the team had cleared out to go get food.

Darcy has a question, her own answer, and no way to approach it. She slumps a little more towards her side of the couch. Her heating blanket takes that as a reason for commentary.

"So, see how you're half passed out, leaning on your own arm? You might feel better leaning on mine." The comment was used in conjecture to a movement that was more smooth than it should have been. She ends up plastered across his right side, head tucked down under his chin.

"You keep doing things like that, and I might start to think you like me."

"Would that be a problem?"

"It could be."

As close as she is, she can feel him tense up. "And why would that be, doll'?"

She snuggles a little closer. "Well, are you trying to get into my pants, or just off the couch? Cause GODS know I know it isn't a comfy crashing place, and you've been on it for most of two years."

There's a huff of laughter in her hair, and then her head is being angled up. The look she's getting should be illegal. At least in public. Steve counts as public, right?

"Darlin', I've been looking to get off this couch and into your bed for damn near two years."

Immediately, her 'bad Darcy' alert goes off. There is nothing more that she wants to do right now besides take the Sargent back to her bedroom, but there are Avengers coming back with food, and Steve and Sam in the kitchen, and Clint at their FEET, and wait… Barnes is smirking. Son of a bitch is smirking. She hits the 'big red off button' and turns her frown into a grin.

"Too bad you invited all these people back to my apartment. Might not have the room!" she dishes out, before bouncing off the couch, and vaulting into the kitchen for a confab with Sam.

After an hour with Sam, including fifteen minutes of Pepper and some take out, Darcy has a plan. It isn't the best plan, as they'd been polishing off a bottle of scotch while conspiring, but she's fairly certain of it.

The living room isn't that big, when you think about stuffing all the Avengers and their plus ones in, but it's enough to suit. And if one isn't planning on sitting…

Bucky is sitting on their end of the couch, studiously ignoring the shouts and hollers of the others, while Nat, Steve, and Tony tried to play RockBand. No matter what he said, Tony couldn't play metal worth a damn. Darcy leans against the wall, watching Barnes sulk, and grins at Sam as he strides across the room to change out the disk.

"I'm tired of your bitching. I have Vets that don't complain as much as you assholes. We're putting on something soothing; you can play Brain Games, and calm the hell down."

Moonlight Serenade starts, and Darcy isn't the only one to roll her eyes. She raises an eyebrow at Sam, and looks back when he leans his head towards the couch.

Bucky has not only sat straight up, but his hands are digging into the couch. He looks at Steve, who turns his head in her direction. She meets his eyes, takes a delicate sip of her drink, and doesn't shift her casual position.

He stands slowly, and saunters to her. Standing far closer than he needs to, he takes her drink from her hand and downs it. Over her indignant outrage, he asks, "You ever learn how to dance?"

She ducks her head down, swallowing her 'kind of fake' indignation. "Not really, no"

"Then let's get started." Bucky not only sweeps her up, but manages to smooth his hand down until it palms her ass and picks her up against him.

"I'm not sure that's quite how it goes, Sargent. I think I'm supposed to use my feet."

"You also shouldn't have a team of superheroes to conspire with, but I soldier on."

"Don't diss. I also have a granny with two awesome kids that will refuse you cookies if you do me wrong. They are SO much scarier than what's in the room right now." It would have sounded more threatening if she hadn't been burying her face in his shoulder to sniff his collar.

"We have to talk about stuff. But can we just… do this? For as long as possible?"

She feels his cheek come to rest on the top of her head. "Yeah, we can do this. But I did mean it, Darce. I want whatever you want to offer. And not just to get off that fuckin' couch."

She huffs into his shirt. "Don't talk smack about the couch. It's been making us cuddle for weeks without me knowing."

"That couch has been my favorite place for the last two years. Even if it's uncomfortable as shit."

"Why's that?" she asks, trying to angle her head up. His cheek is firmly planted, and won't let her see his face.

"It's got you on it. Sometimes it's just you reading, sometimes it's you playing with the gang, sometimes you wander in at four in the morning and conk out with me. But there's always a chance of Darcy on that couch. It's the best place to be."

She turns her head sharply, meets Sam's eyes, and ducks out of Bucky's hold. She grabs his hand, and hauls him out of the room without a word. By the time they're shut in her room, he has a wild, panicked look to him, so she responds by throwing a stuffed owl at him.

"You can't just say things like that around people and expect me to answer in a civil fucking fashion, dude!"

Clutching the owl to his chest, he sputters, "But-"

"No fucking 'but', Barnes," she says as she stalks not only up to him, but forces him into the wall. "I think I kind of love you, okay? And you say all this romantic, sappy stuff to me that makes me think you like me too. But you get all smirky, and sarcastic, and we STILL haven't dealt with the fact that the Soldier helped me, but didn't KNOW me, and… why the hell are you grinning?"

He tips his head down to look her in the eye. "Darcy Lewis. Did you just say you loved me?"

The blush started at the back of her neck, and the tears started at the corners. "Give me Hedwig back, asshole."

She didn't have time to step back before he caught her lips with his. She stilled for a moment, before leaning into the kiss. When they finally broke, he leaned his head against hers.

"I kind of love you too. Is that okay?"

Wiping the tears from her lashes, she hesitated. "Do I get my owl back?"

Bucky debated for a minute. "No, I think throwing her at me makes her mine. You get a trained assassin out of the deal, though."

"Guess that makes her ours. The owl, AND the couch. That one is still kind of risky, though. Literally, you might find superheroes playing Risk on it."

"We still need to talk about…" he started. Darcy took it heart, and bopped him over the head with Hedwig.

"Yeah, we will. That's not now, unless it needs to be. The Soldier knew me, he came to help ME. I don't think we really need to worry about it. The fucking HULK listens to me, I'm sure your other guy does too. We're good. I could really use some more kisses, and maybe some less than clothed cuddling in my near future. Think you're down with that, James?"

Bucky stripped off his shirt with a filthy grin. "You know, you're the only one that's called me James in over a century?"

"Am I?" she took the time to saunter backwards to her bed, sat, and fiddled with the buttons on her blouse. "Is that good or bad?"

Slinking is not something that a person should be able to do. Large, jungle cats, maybe, but not people. But damned if Barnes didn't find his way to Darcy in a way that made her eyes shutter.

Resting at her feet, he put both her heels on his legs, stroking his hands up. "Darcy? I think you calling me James is a very, very dangerous thing."

He followed his hands with his lips, chasing the muscles with his tongue. By the time he reached her knees, she was taking very short, brisk breaths. He darted a look up at her, and she caught him by the chin, dragging him up into a kiss that was more tongue and smirk than anything else. On both ends.

She stretched a bit, pushing her chest forward. "I'm wearing more than you are. I feel kind of cheated."

After sucking a mark into her neck, Bucky pulled back. "Fair enough, but the bra's coming too."

"Square deal," she says, then gasping at the feel of his hands sliding up her skin under the shirt. "I thought you were taking that off."

"When I can get those noises out of you when it's still on? You have an elsewhere to be? Cause I can do this all night."

His thumbs hit a patch of skin on her stomach that made her gasp. "Fuck, James, please, take the damned shirt off before I do it. I want your skin on me-"she managed before she was hauled off the bed and into his lap, mouths grinding together.

They part, breathing heavily, for him to start to ask, "Are you-?"

Darcy pulls her shirt over her head, almost tangling in the sleeves as she reaches back to unhook her bra. When she's able to toss that away, she looks back at Bucky, smirks, and finishes, "Sure? I think I pretty much was sure from the first day you slept on our couch. Where've you been?"

His arms wind around her, pulling as closely as he can as he shudders. "Jesus, Darce. How the hell did I stay away from you? How did you get past the…"

The metal hand is in her hair, twined around her scalp, and it doesn't matter a bit. "YOU, James. That's all that's been keeping us apart. You don't want to hurt me, so you keep staying away. But that hurts MORE. So STOP."

She grinds down on his lap at the end, listens to his low moan, and does it again. "You aren't just their weapon, you're James Buchannan Barnes, and you are THIS close to shagging a really hot girl, if you just get out of your head, and what they put into it. So, get to the sex, and we'll talk about the rest later, okay? Cause if I don't get to come in the next half hour, I'm going to get really cranky."

Following that statement, she nudges his nose with hers, then steps up away from him to remove the rest of her clothes. Finished, she drapes herself across the bed.

"I'm kind of getting sad by the fact that I have to make all the moves here, hot shot. There IS still a couch out there that could use a buddy."

"I'm pretty sure there are people on it, so I'll just have to do my best to make myself welcome in here."

"Getting less clothed would help. Cause, feeling kind of naked here."

"I'd do that, darlin', except there's so many places for me to be right now, I don't know where to start. I could do this-"he said, leaning over to lick a stripe up her inner thigh. "Or this," he moved to her left breast, grazing his teeth on the outer edge.

"What would you prefer?" he asked, dragging both hands up her legs.

"You. I just want you, now. No more teasing, no more foreplay. Ditch the pants, and fuck me, Barnes. Or I'll get myself off, and you can have the couch."

"Jesus, Darce, I was hoping to show off a little skill," he stated as he stripped off the rest of his clothes.

"Skill later. And I'll take advantage of finding out exactly how much skill you have. You? I want now. So gimmee."

"Did you just make 'grabby hands' at me?"

Darcy rolled her eyes, grabbed a bionic arm, and tugged. A little wiggling meant she ended up with a former assassin just where she wanted him.

"Are you arguing where you are right now? Cause I can go pick another Avenger, but I'm kind of stuck on you."

He nudges her nose with his, before catching her in a kiss that starts sweet, but ends up desperate. They're both gasping as they break away, and damned near rutting against each other. His cock is catching on her clit every time they rock against each other, and it's enough to send every question he has to the back of his mind.

There's a quiet plea of "James, please", as he sinks in, hands fisted in the sheets. They both shudder, and his hand, his real one, brushes her hair out of her face. She leans up, into him, as close as she can get, and at the same time tilts her hips as much as she's able. The combination makes her close enough to kiss, and also pushes him as far in as he can get.

They go slowly, as long as they can. It catches them both, eventually, the spiral up to a finish. He's tugged her lip between his teeth enough to leave it marked before burying his face in her chest. She's responded with desperate bites on his neck and long lines along his back.

There are snarls and moans from both, before the end. She comes first, bucking up against him, and he follows not long after. It's the after that everyone worries about. What comes next.

Darcy looks into those eyes, the eyes she lost herself in. Then she snorts, pushes his head away, and tells him to stop being a dork.

"That big talk. We can do that tomorrow, right? After we have more sex? And WAY past the sleep and cuddling."

She pulls up the covers, pulls Bucky's bio arm over her torso, and burrows back into him.

"Umm… what?"

Darcy sighs the sigh of interns having to deal with Science! "We just had really good sex, we're kind of a couple, and you no longer have to sleep on the couch. Now, if you're a good little cuddly soldier, I might make pancakes in the morning. But only if you give really good cuddle. Kay?"

The arm around her waist tightens a bit, and she can feel a nose in her hair. "I think I can do the cuddle thing. Was there something in there about more sex?"

She grins and reaches back to run a hand through his hair. "Tomorrow, man. Pancakes, and if you're lucky, shower sex. We'll look into it. For now, sleeping and naked cuddling."

"I told you I kind of love you back, right?"

"You did. And now I have proof that it wasn't just about getting off the couch."

She's pulled as close as possible to Bucky's frame. "I mean it."

"I know. I know, James. I love you too."


End file.
